So I’m going to this party next week, and in the past, I’ve passed out, had dicks drawn on me by a sister brother duo and then gotten blamed for a chair on the neighbours roof.
I got revenge at the next party by getting the guy drunk enough that he felt like death the next morning. Laughter was shared by all when we were observing him through the kitchen window while he was throwing up in the backyard from his chair.
Hilarious.
Anyway, this time around instead of being blamed for breaking chairs (which I do not remember, but have come to accept) or other shit that only the owners of the house frown upon, I have decided to bring my dog to the party.
Genius.
Being a respectable guest (the irony is that I’ve somewhat damaged their house or insulted someone every time I’ve visited) I’ve decided to try and find a dog diaper. The economical way would be to buy baby diapers and to cut a tail hole (you may be thinking, what a fucking idiot (or genius) but there are actually videos on youtube displaying this very act (what doesn’t that site have)), but then i’d have to convert my dog diaper size to baby diaper size and find an appropriate fit, Because nothing says ‘irresponsible dog owner/parent’ than tight or saggy diapers on their dog and I just don’t have time for that shit. Also, Diapers aren’t cheap, and they tend to be sold in bulk. I’m pretty sure diapers don’t have an expiry date, but I don’t plan on getting anyone pregnant soon, and I don’t know any teen hussies or anyone with children from the top of my head. I’d rather not buy a 24 pack of Huggies (free endorsement right there) just to use two diapers so that there won’t be a sneaky turd mountain that will be randomly discovered the next morning or if we’re lucky during the party.
I could be a total dick and use the turd and… No, I have morals (I’m actually taking an ethics class (Its a prerequisite) I should write a report about the ethics and morals about abusing the waste product of a dog at a party, I could title it: ‘Dog turd: waste or potential party amusement?’, bring on the GPA 7.)
So that is my dog diaper dilemma. I’d rather not buy a cloth diaper, or make my own, a cloth diaper on a dog? It’s not a Greek god dress up party. Also since the party has a theme where you must wear a white shirt, i’ve been looking for places that sell dog shirts. Can you imagine, a dog in a white diaper and a white shirt. It’s like the canine equivalent of the KKK, all it needs is a hood. The irony however is that the dog is brown.
Also, There are Korean people coming to this party. When they rock up, they’re going to see the dog and think its a totally different kind of party. maybe I should disguise it.
source: http://www.doobybrain.com
Before you put on your protest shirt and start saying shi(r)t (wordplay) about the Korean comment, I am Korean (the irony)
