There are many times when rape is taken as a joke and used liberally, a comment is said, people laugh, respect goes up, they get on their knees, etc etc However sometimes you come across the term in a way that makes you cringe, perhaps laugh afterwards at the entire situation.
Here is a recap of what happened yesterday:
3pm: Met up with a friend, was late
5pm: Met another group of friends
7pm: get a call from another friend, says he has work off and wants to hang out, I agree, even though I didn’t want to go out, It was a good opportunity to catch up.
9pm: eventually get home after meeting more friends and waiting for the wonderful Brisbane public transport system, which can go eat a dick or 5
9:30pm: Friend shows me his new car, then we start drinking what can only be described as homebrew. 2 bottles of it. Apperantly I was Vodka + mysterious Blue fluid. I’m sure the vodka was made in a basement without approval of the house owner or landlord and the mysterious blue fluid was methylated spirits. What a delicious and NOT disgustingly horrible cocktail.
10pm: watch Dave Chappelle’s Block Party in the backgroud while catching up. We soon finish the two bottles. I wished I’d bought some decent alcohol. Next time. We walk to Cactus Jacks, which is a local Mexican themed bar and restaurant, and yes, It is kinda shit. They think it would be rad to do Chartreuse Shots. Obviously they haven’t tried Campari.
We head out to my favourite place in the world. Gilhooleys. I can not stress how much I love this local bar. It really is my spiritual home, Once I walk in, I truly understand why I love living in Logan and wonder why I only go there about once a year, usually by force. In case it wasn’t evident by now, I was being quite sarcastic.
Rather than rattle off its many, if not endless flaws, I’ll just talk about what happened:
Friend walks in, My ID which is 2 years Expired apparently is not sufficient enough. I feel somewhat relieved and walk away. I spot some people from high school and talk to them while leaning on the barrier that separates the bar from the rest of Logan. It felt odd talking to people behind a barrier, I felt like a pedophile talking to children over a fence. A member of security tells me to either get in or fuck off. I can’t remember if he said that, but it’s safe to assume he did. I sat in the smokers area outside, and another member of security approaches and said something about needing to get in. I show him me ID, and he lets me in. Fuck.
My friend talks about pills and minds if he takes one (which would later be two), I tell him to go for it. He thanked me and looked around suspiciously for about 5 seconds and then took it. The concept of security cameras obviously didn’t concern us.
I get a free drink, it was extremely feminine, but I reluctantly accepted. As I was walking around, I saw some girls in nurse outfits, apparently there was a theme, This one girl with a fringe grabbed my ass and started talking to me, I smiled and continued walking. She was cute for a girl from Logan, But she was from Logan. As we walk out to head to another favourite of mine, Fitzys, I run into another girl high school. She is pretty fucking rad and we briefly caught up, mentioned her Canadian trip and told me to update my blog.
Eventually we end up in Fitzys, apparently an Australian rapper was performing. It was about midnight when we arrived, It was dead. He probably finished. A gig with supports that finishes before midnight, must have been some gig. We get let in for free, networking <3.
My friend talks to the security and barstaff, and later get abc shots. Fantastic. The procedure was to take the shot then suck the rest with a straw. I hate this bitch for making me do this. We did two. Doing shots (horrible shots) in Logan. I could have been glassed, or raped.
We go into the smoking area and he asks someone for a smoke, probably his fifth of the night. He said he gave up last Friday, and since he's drinking it didn't matter. What a great theory to go by. I gave up beating children, but as long as I drink it makes it perfectly fine. He should publish a book on it, I'm sure Dr. Phil would pay for the costs involved, and later Oprah can endorse it. Amazing. Simply Amazing.
I get introduce myself to the group, we talk about music, and one of the guys hands me his business cards and says we should talk further on facebook and if im down at the gold coast he'd sort things out. Not sure what that implied but I took the card and said I'd put him on guestlists for the valley and such if he ever decides to go that route. He asks if I have one. Goal: get a business card within the next 6 months.
One of the guys challenges us to a game of pool. My friend and I accept, and sure enough within about 5 minutes I sink the 8 ball. Put me on the olympic team already. Sidenote: Billiards/Snooker/Pool isn't an Olympic sport, but Curling is. What a great world we live in.
We continue for another two games. On the side my friend is chatting to this girl. I watch as within seconds she pushes him down and grinds on his face. Oh Fitzys where have you been all my life.
We soon leave, My friend asks his bartender friend how she's going home, her boyfriend is picking her up, he didn't want to walk for 5 minutes, what a lazy fuck.
Outside my friend is chatting to Grindface (don't worry her nickname will change) and her friend who looked alot like a girl I went to high school with. Both girls talk to my friend for ages while I read a month old copy of Scene magazine nearby. Like I said, Logan girls, not my thing (they were actually from Beenleigh, which is worse I guess). They tell me to come over and we start chatting. They all want another drink, lockout no dice, so we start talking on the steps again. The girl my friend is trying to get says she likes me because I'm Korea. Um, Alright. I shout out at the girl that looks like that girl from high school, she says her name is Shawna or something, I continue calling her Rachael.
Some guy comes out of the bar and calls me triangle head, I'm confused and ignore it, the girl my friend is trying to get tells him to fuck off. She talks to some randoms and the girl that my friend is trying to get, sits between my legs. We comment on her tattoo, she replies with something like "you guys are going to stop laughing and shut the fuck up once I tell you" She tells a touching story and the mood goes down. My friend tells her a story about his dad, and looks at me and goes "Isn't that right, Don?". What a fuckface. I have no idea if its true or not, but I reply with "Yeah, I think I remember your dad telling me at your last farewell party". She think he's bullshitting hardcore and gets all hyped up and wants to go home. She yells out for her friend and get in a cab. My friend manages to talk to her and gets in the cab with them. I'm fucking glad and wait for them to leave so I can run home without being stabbed. Unfortunately what really happened was they left the cab door open and told me to hurry up. Fucking hell. I tell them that I have to go to parklife the next day and can't. They're pretty insistent. Even the randoms that just left Fitzys are encouraging me. Peer pressure sucks.
The girl in front says "just take me to Beenleigh, and the guys in the back whereever". I live like 2 minutes away from fitzys, what the fuck, also this implied they were crashing at mine, since my friend was staying over. Great. I whisper to my friend that he's a dick. He quite loudly replies something about bitches, them paying for the cab and pussy. I just cringe, laugh and pretend he didn't say anything.
The girl gets off and says bye to us, The girl in the back gets all randomly emotional and tells us that she's drunk and tells my friend not to contact her and apologizes, hands us $30 and leaves. We tell the cab driver to go back where we were. He does a U-turn and I tell him to honk. No honk. We pretty much instantly talk about how relieved I am, how fucked up that was, etc.
The cab driver joins in the conversation and mentions how he was upset that we didn't get the pussy. Indian taxi drivers are hilarious. He said pussy so many times that we thought he may have been a pimp. The Total fare was 32, but he was cool with 30. I asked what his name was, Abraham. Cool guy. Ask soon as we get out, my friend says "Arj was a cool guy". My friend really wants to check out Fitzys again, what a dick. 'Arj' drives into the carpark, we laugh and I give him the card of the guy from the Gold Coast, and said he he wanted cheap Jewelery to ring this guy.
We go to the pokies room inside fitzies, the guy who called me triangle head shouts out at me. He goes "yeah you have the triangle on when playing pool", I reply with "oh yeah. So made much money tonight?". I can't remember what he said. We talk to some locals, and told them the story about the girls. They found it amusing.
We start walking home and continue talking about the night. He brings up that the next time he see's the bartender, he's going to abuse her for trying to make her go home with a psycho and tells me she was a rapebaby. "Nice, Rapebaby, wasn't that a word of the day on Sesame Street or something?" "No man, seriously, when we were talking about her cousin and my dad, she goes she doesn't know her dad, because her mum was raped, and that she was a rapechild". Oh dear Oh dear.
When we get home, he texts her, she instantly rings back, and they both apologize and says he can call her sometime if he wants. I can’t believe he brang that shit up about his dad. Way to get a girl in the mood, talk about father issues.
I wake up the next day feeling like absolute shit. Parklife is on in an hour, Fuck, will edit this later.
